A Father’s Role

In my devotional, I mentioned that my parents died when I was young. My father wasn’t a part of my life after the age of eight, when my mother had had enough of his drinking, not working, etc., and kicked him out of our house. He died at the age of fifty-one from cirrhosis of the liver and emphysema. I never blamed my mother for my father not being around because our life was much more peaceful with him gone from our home, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t consequences. I can’t speak for my sister since she is no longer on this earth, but for me not having a father in my life created a distrust in men. Not only have I distrusted men for all of my life, but I also have felt that I can’t relate to them, at least in a cerebral sense. As a teenager and throughout my early adult years I was very promiscuous, which brought consequences such as STDs and sometimes hurt feelings. I now wish I had not been so reckless and rebellious with my body. 

Father’s Day creates an emptiness in my heart every year. I could go on and on regarding the pain I have felt by not having a father. Fathers are important to their children while they are growing up. So many women in America are raising their children on their own, most of them in poverty like we were, and my hat goes off to them for their efforts. I’m certain that life would have been different if my dad had chosen to put his girls above the pull of alcohol. I’m sure he would not have allowed me to be as rebellious and reckless as I was in my relationships, or to quit school right before my senior year. So many what if’s.

I have been a single woman since 1995 when my husband at the time and I divorced. There wasn’t any drama, an affair, or money issues, but after sixteen years of marriage I just didn’t want to be around a man anymore. But one thing I learned from my parents was to make sure that he played an active part in our daughter’s life and that I never spoke ill of him. I did not want my daughter to have the same distrust that I have experienced, and I’m happy with my decision because she is now married to a wonderful man and has a daughter of her own who is being raised by a great dad. I thank God all the time that she is in a good marriage and that their daughter is thriving in a healthy and secure household. My greatest hope is that my granddaughter grows up and marries a man just like her dad. Men, listen up! You are needed in your children’s lives. Don’t let them down.