More on God’s Perfect Timing

Whether it’s due to aging, chronic illness, or unexpected tragedy, our lives can change rapidly. We find ourselves having to ask for help. It’s humbling, especially if we were usually the one helping others.

For instance, I was blessed to be a speaker at conferences, colleges, churches, and ladies’ meetings. For over three decades, I’d pack a fashionable outfit with sensible heels, load the boxes of books I wrote, and hit the road hoping to use my testimony to encourage others.

To explain, I’d grown up in an unstable alcoholic home. A near fatal suicide attempt as a troubled teen caused me to be committed to a state mental institution. This was during the 1970s, when little was known about mental health. That hospital was a barbaric place with thousands of adult patients and only traumatized me more.

After my release, I continued self-medicating with drugs and alcohol and survived a couple more suicide attempts. For the next decade, I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals. Finally, I accepted Jesus into my heart on a psychiatric ward in 1986, and it was the last time I had to be there.

Thankfully, my life changed—miraculously, but not instantly. I started attending church and twelve-step recovery meetings, reading the Bible, and living one day at a time. By 1996, I began working as a Christian TV reporter too.

Back then, few people addressed topics about mental health or suicide, especially in Christian circles. Yet I felt God calling me to speak up to offer a pathway of freedom to others. God opened some amazing doors providing incredible opportunities.

In recent years though, my busy schedule, became a thing of the past. What became a part of the present, were ugly orthopedic shoes and relying on crutches to ease chronic arthritic pain. Due to God’s grace, I’ve lived to be a senior citizen. I’m grateful, but truthfully I didn’t anticipate slowing down.

I wasn’t aware of how greatly I missed reaching others until recently, when I dreamed I was speaking for a women’s event. Someone there asked me, “What do you like most about presenting to a group?”

In my dream, I searched deep within myself for an answer. “I like when the ladies attending speak with me personally,” I said. “After hearing my story, sometimes they reveal something traumatic that they’ve never shared with anyone—painful secrets.”

Their brief confessions were always a sacred trust for me. The aching wound or past sin trapped inside occasionally prevented an individual from loving themselves or even doubting God’s ability to love them. After all, secrets make us sick.

In God’s timing, we often discover freedom by confiding our darkest secrets to a trustworthy believer, one willing to pray. “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16, NIV).  My dream made me realize how immensely I missed touching the lives of those forced to bury hidden hurts.

Circumstances can alter our ability to help others. Maybe we can’t do what we once did, but we can always do something. We can slow down and listen to a lonely widow; be kind to a stranger in church; or use our talents like knitting, baking, writing, painting, gardening, etc. to bless others. We can also take time to pray for those needing help, being aware our prayers contain our Creator’s healing power.

If you or someone you know is in crisis or experiencing suicidal thoughts, call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. Speaking of Suicide also provides a list of resources for those in crisis and their loved ones.