More from Kumalawaty Sundari

Looking back on my experience of waiting for my father’s surgery, I was initially sure that everything would go well in a short time. It was not a big surgery and would not be dangerous at all, according to the doctor. However, as my relationships with my brothers and sisters are not good, I felt alone in the waiting room. I tried to make myself as relaxed as possible by reading a magazine I like while listening to peaceful music till the surgery, which was supposed to take an hour, was over.

Time kept going on, but no one from the surgery room called. Then my heart started to worry so much: Perhaps there is a trouble making the surgery difficult. It may even risk my father’s life. I tried to banish that fear by praying to God, as I couldn’t contact other family members since I had to stay there till there I heard news about my father. God’s presence that I felt through fervent prayer really calmed my soul, ensuring me that everything would be fine. I realized fully that the Lord knew my struggle and that despite this uncertainty that surrounded me, my father’s life was secure in God’s hand.

When I was finally called to enter the surgery room, I was so relieved that the surgery went well and my fear did not become a reality. As my father later became conscious and got better day by day, I knew that the Lord had kept him from harm. I learned that when I can do nothing and my anxiety is uncontrollable, I truly can hide in God’s love till the storm passes.

From my experience, I realized that God can understand me as more than just someone on his highest throne whom I must worship with fear all the time. God reached me with merciful love when my energy had been used up so that fear could no longer seize me and I could confidently see that God was in control of everything. God was there when my strength was no more and it seemed that I could not continue this life. Gloom can come upon us, but there is always hope in our hearts through the warmth of the love that God gives to whoever comes to him. God will indeed never deny our broken hearts.

“God cares” should be the theme of our songs daily. Even in the deep darkness, when we surrender our concerns to God—though we may not find the solution soon—surely God’s peace will stay. As humans, we can be weak and hopeless when things do not go as we wish, but we can always rely on God’s love that will never leave us, whatever befalls.

Embrace God’s love when your anxiety is increasing, and the shadow of death will slowly but surely dissipate. Then your troubling heart will sing again!