More from Kumalawaty Sundari

I can now look back on how my mother cared about me so much when I was a kid, especially whenever I was afraid because of my nightmares in the middle of the night. Actually many times I still experience bad dreams, which make me anxious and cause me to struggle to sleep again. Perhaps now I cannot rely on my mother in the same way since she has become demanding, but I can hide in God’s embrace till my fear subsides and I can calmly go back to sleep. Usually I will calm myself for a while, turning on my light, having some water, and reading the Bible. God’s presence which fills me then softly speaks to me, ensuring me that all will be fine and I have nothing to worry about.

Now that I no longer rely on my mother to calm me, Jesus really has become the guardian of my soul. Once I experienced a series of strange dreams that each made me wake up at midnight, sweating and with a severe headache. Many times the dreams were still on my mind the next day, so that I more or less lost enthusiasm to face my day. All this happened due to the depression that I experienced during my university study. I really didn’t like my study at that time, and many of my friends there treated me badly. It wasn’t easy to deal with this situation as my family also are not supportive. However, I do have some close friends to whom I can tell my burdens so I can feel better before I sleep. But I have realized that finally, that dream stopped happening because God’s peace filled me and I always found God whenever I felt anxious after everybody went to bed. I could feel how God understood me fully so that my sleeping time was no longer a frightening time for me.

I live in a family that holds a principle of valuing working all the time, so it’s normal for us never to have other activities together before we go to bed. We sleep because we have been so tired all day. As I get closer to the Lord, I realize that actually I need a good preparation to make sleeping not just a must for me but a basic need, a gift from God who will keep me throughout the night. I believe that it’s the inspiration from the Holy Spirit who cares about me, so that when night comes I can feel relaxed and fill the time with fun activities. And then when I am already in bed, there are not lots of thoughts in my mind. Since the people in my life are very busy, peaceful nights only happen for me when I am in fellowship with the Lord.

I hope that everyone can always have a blessed night under God’s keeping!